Confessions of an Espresso Addict

the prelude

- NoVA correspondent Dogburt

(Note to readers - my espresso rantings may be what gets me kicked off The Marinara)

I would have you all know that Mr. Marinara handles his bizness with much grace and aplomb. Whenever he has prepared something for me and my friends, there is never a sense of anxiety, and for that, he is worth emulation. That is not to say he feels no anxiety when he's throwing down in the chef's kitchen, but it never shows. I on the other hand am a nervous wreck, because no matter how frequently I do something, I'm always afraid that this is the one time when I screw it up for my guests and whatever expectations they have of me falls through the floor.

I know espresso. I don't know it extremely well, I'm not an expert by any means, but I've spent an inordinate amount of time thinking about it over the past 10 years of my life, ever since I was given one of those entry-level Krups-style espresso makers. Even owning one of those and knowing how to use it in a manner of proficiency probably put me in the top third of the espresso-wise. I drank Starbucks, I drank Greenberrys' (a Charlottesville thing) and I liked it. My goal was to produce in the home a reasonable facsimile of my standard Starbucks drink - the Caramel latte. There is no magic to this - it is simply a shot of espresso, steamed milk, and several shots of caramel syrup. My Krups-style espresso maker along with a heavy dose of sugar kept me entertained for many years.

Eventually though, curiosity crept up on me. I wanted to try espresso made by high end restaurants. You know, like Panera. And so during the early years of my marriage, I started to sample espressos and cappuccinos from every restaurant I attended. And very slowly, I started to learn to distinguish between two types of espresso - that which sucked, and that which did not. That which did not suck simply looked different. It had a vibrant glow in its crema, it smelled different, and it didn't taste like burnt dirt. So now, what to do? Well, I began to think that I was ready to take the next step in my relationship with the espresso bean. Second base, as it were.

I took a poll, did some research, and determined that this beautiful machine was in my near future. This little lady, called Miss Silvia, would take me to the next level in my espresso obsession. So I ordered it, unpacked it, followed the directions to set it up, ground up some beans in my nifty Starbucks coffee grinder, and thus proceeded to pull a shot of dirty water.

I was crestfallen. I wanted to cry. Countless research hours, hundreds of dollars, and my espresso was worse than when I was using my Krups machine. Sisyphus, I feel your pain.

It was not until many months later that I learned an invaluable lesson - your espresso is not primarily governed by your espresso machine, but your grinder. If you pay big bucks on the machine but skimp on the grinder, you are in for much disappointment.

Soon thereby armed with a decent if not spectacular grinder, I finally had the tools to proceed. And proceed I did, over the next two years leading up to today, I have experimented, altered techniques, refined each step, worked diligently to produce the best shot of espresso that I could. And it continues.

Now, dear reader(s), you might be left with two questions:

1. Are you going to tell us anything useful in this blog post?
   
2. Is all of this worth it?

Answers:

1. There will be much more to come (I hope) but what I will leave you with for starters is, barring all other information present in the process that you know about or otherwise, the best rule of thumb that I've come up with on determining whether a shot is good or bad, is the speed at which the extraction occurs. If it drips out like warm honey, you're probably good to go. Anything else, throw it away or pretend you just picked up some Starbucks.
2. When you taste espresso that has been pulled with precision and care, it is a true paradigm-shifting experience. You may or may not like it, but it will change the way you see espresso and forever alter your expectations of it.